Put on your mask.


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Why is it that extending love to others is positive, celebrated, and good, but extending love to ourselves is frowned upon??

If you’ve been on an airplane you’ve heard the flight attendants go over the safety instructions. What do they always say? In the event of an emergency, please put on your mask first before assisting others. That should be applied to life.

Self love is that oxygen mask. It’s what keeps us sane. Beyond that, it’s what allows us to show up in the world as our best self. That is a selfless act – show up and serve as your best self.

Our culture is very big on love. You should love your spouse, your family, your kids, your job, etc. All that is good and well, but our culture is also very big on expectations. We’re expected to do and be it all for everyone. Absolutely impossible, but we try. We’re supposed to make everyone happy and that should make us happy. But that only makes us feel drained, unhappy, and confused. Why isn’t this doing what it’s supposed to? Because the oxygen mask isn’t on.

Self love isn’t self centered or narcissistic. I don’t want those type of people in my world and I definitely don’t want to be that type of person. Self love is honoring who you are. It’s taking care of yourself – mind, body, and spirit. It’s knowing when you should slow down and rest and when you should push yourself. It’s being in tune with what your heart needs and not being afraid to provide that. If we listen to our hearts when they whisper we won’t have to hear them scream. Listen and respond.

Never taking time for yourself isn’t heroic, it’s setting yourself up for burn out. I know you have tons of responsibilities, people that need you, things that need to get done, but I can guarantee there’s always a way to slip away and take a soul break. Maybe that’s a babysitter, delegating a task to someone else, crossing something off your to do list that actually isn’t priority. The thing is, it won’t just fall into your lap. You have to make an intentional effort to make it happen. It may take some time on the front end to coordinate or even give yourself that pep talk, but it’s seriously worth it!

A few months ago I was feeling completely drained all the time. Even once I woke up. I thought it was something related to my thyroid issues, so after talking to a friend, I decided I needed to get blood work done to check out my levels. I was desperate. Everything felt like a production because I was just exhausted all the time. Turns out my levels looked great and it clicked that I needed to make myself a bigger priority. At the time I wasn’t getting nearly enough sleep, I was go go go all the time, and I was focused on everything else except for my own wellbeing.

I focused on sleep. I focused on unplugging. I focused on relaxing. Eric bought me a coloring book so I could have something mindless to help me relax. A week or 2 after refocusing and I was feeling like a different woman. My soul had been screaming at me for weeks {maybe even months!} to put on my mask, but I was too busy trying to do everything. It’s not up to me to do it all. But it is up to me to do everything I can to love myself better.

I’m more relaxed. Happier. More patient. Seeking ways to serve and encourage others. When I was in that “state of emergency” those weren’t even on my radar. I just needed to pause. How do you want to show up?

Self love is not selfish. 

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